I’m not sure when you’ll read this. Maybe when you’re 10 or 15. Maybe I’ll give you a book of my letters when you have your own child someday. Maybe you’ll read this long after I’m gone, but I want to write you, today, on your 5th birthday.
It likely comes as no surprise to you that tears are already falling fast down my cheeks. Mommy is a crier after all, and for better or worse, I’d like to think your sensitivity comes from me.
You turned 5 today.
I really can’t believe it. All the things they tell you about it happening in the blink of an eye and how the days are long but the years are short— it’s all true. You’re in that sweet spot right now. You’re no longer a baby and you’re not quite a big kid… but you’re definitely in the “kid” category now. You have opinions and preferences but you still want help. You still need us to enter a room before you, to shut doors, and turn on lights. You still co-sleep and love snuggles. Although you’re too heavy for Mommy to carry anymore, Daddy will still pick you up when you ask him to.
You are shy until you warm up to someone, and then there is nothing shy about you! You’re the life of the party and your sense of humor is your strongest quality. You are seriously one funny kid. I don’t think I’ve met many people with better comedic timing, and you constantly have us in stitches, from your witty comebacks and silly physical humor. You definitely get this from Daddy. The two of you together? Forget it! You just egg each other on until both of you are gasping for air.
And speaking of you and Daddy – I have never seen a closer relationship before. You and I are both incredibly blessed by Daddy every single day. What I think is most special, is how he makes time for you always. Even after he woke up before the sun and worked all day, he’ll give you undivided attention before you go to bed. Sometimes you go outside and play but you mostly like to wrestle around on the bed or play video games together. You’re really into Sonic and Mario Bros. right now, which Daddy loves too because we used to play them as kids. You and Daddy have the most fun together. It’s a blessing for me to witness and I know you will treasure these memories as you get older.
Let me tell you a little bit more about you, at this moment in your life.
- Your favorite color is blue. Your second favorite color is green. You are in a phase of ranking color and could keep going if I asked you.
- Your favorite TV shows right now are: Power Rangers Ninja Steel, Sofia the First, and The Stinky & Dirty Show. You also love Team Umizoomi, Paw Patrol, and PJ Masks.
- You LOVE music! I don’t think there is anything you love more.
- You are still really into pretend play! You love cooking in your play kitchen, playing with Playdoh, dressing up, and making mud creations outside in your water/dirt table.
- You love building with LEGOS and blocks, putting together puzzles, and any art project.
- You take swim lessons and love your instructor, Jacob.
- You go to nature class with just a handful of boys, whose names you can never remember. (You come by it naturally, as Daddy and I struggle with this too!)
- You’re a tiny jet setter, with nearly 20 flights under your belt. This year we’ve flown across country several times and you’ve handled it like a pro.
- You love your Sunday School class and have recently started telling Mr. Bob the password. (Jesus Loves Me.)
- Your best friend is Ian; formerly known as “Baby Ian”.
- You’ve got awesome ninja skills and dance moves.
Benjamin, you are the most beautiful gift from God. Every day it becomes more clear to me, the miracle that brought you to us. You teach me so much about life and about myself. You challenge me. I worry and pray for God’s protection over you. I pray that I’m the best mom to you that I could be and that He would help us through trying times together. I hope and pray that Daddy and I are making the best decisions regarding your life. It can be very stressful as a parent, and hard to give ultimate control to God. Sometimes I want the crystal ball that shows me you turn out to be an amazing adult with a great life! I think every parent must want that. I pray, most of all, that you come to know Jesus at a young age, so that He can guide your life. I pray that you always know how loved you are. My love for you courses through my veins; it’s in my beating heart; behind every thought in my mind. Thank you for being everything I’ve ever dreamed about and everything I never knew I needed. I love you so very much, My Son.