Last night I decided to end my second round of Whole30 on day 8. I agonized over this decision for two days. The anxiety this decision was causing me was not healthy and that is counterproductive to my goals. Whole30 is an awesome program! I would seriously recommend it to anyone looking to 1) detox + heal their gut/insides 2) jump start a healthier lifestyle 3) lose weight/inches, especially in their stomach 4) feel amazing, achieved, and self confident. This program has done all of those things for me, and then some. Before I discuss this second round and what's led me to the decision to end it, I want to share what I wrote on my Instagram feed at the end of round one:
"Today marks "Day 30" of my first Whole30. More than any other physical, mental, or emotional change, this program has given me SELF-CONFIDENCE! I trust myself more each day to choose what is BEST for me [and my family]; what foods will fuel my mind and body. That regularly exercising is good for my soul. Every day I'm feeling healthier and stronger. My mind is clearer and I'm happy! My one little word for 2014 is SELF-DISCIPLINE and completing Whole30 has taken a dedication that leaves me feeling so proud of this accomplishment. I know that there is still so much work to do and I'm excited to see where this journey leads. As most of you know, I'll be starting my second round of W30 on Mon. June 2nd. #MyJuneWhole30 The numbers: I lost just over 9 lbs. and 5.5 all-over inches between Whole30 + regular exercise."
It's hard to explain what the first round has done for me. Obviously there were physical results but also mental and emotional. I felt empowered. I felt proud that I was doing this for myself and my family. I went from making 2-3 meals a week (and not all that healthy) to 3 each day. I found out that I actually could cook if I wanted to and that other people liked it! I discovered that I really do like clean eating and that this would mean a lifestyle change for me, not a fad or diet.
I was pumped to be doing a second round back to back. I had it planned so I'd have the weekend "off" at the end of May in order to attend a few celebrations and then started my second round on Monday, June 2nd. It honestly was like starting completely over, and my first week was as difficult as it was the first time around. This was a little bit of a blow, having just felt so amazing and accomplished the week before! I kept expecting to feel better but something just hasn't felt right. By days 5 and 6, when I still wasn't feeling quite right, I started to question doing a strict W30 right now. I've been telling my husband that I feel outta whack, unmotivated, discouraged, and low energy. I did not feel like this last time. My hormones aren't right. I haven't been working out as much and it's all affecting me. I even took a pregnancy test (negative); that's how out of it I feel. This round has also brought up some weird feelings about food. I've been equating a decision about what I eat [by sticking to Whole30 or not] to success vs. failure and that it somehow makes me a "bad person" to want an unhealthy meal every now and again. I don't want to feel/think that way. It's all about balance! For me, this journey is about becoming healthy and fit. That means my entire being. One of my traps in life is anxiety and I want to avoid going down that route. Part of my anxiety came from letting other people down. I know that my story has inspired so many of you and I don't want you to be discouraged. When I finally made the decision to end my round of Whole30, I instantly felt relief. I'm not sad. I don't feel like I failed or quit. This was an educated decision that I made and the right one for ME. My plan is adopt more of a Paleo/clean eating lifestyle and do Whole30 again from time to time to "reset". In fact, I'm already thinking September for my next round.
The Whole30 community [on Instagram] is INCREDIBLE! I have met the most amazing, supportive, and encouraging women. Women who have cheered me on and inspired me every day. I love this community and consider myself a part of an elite but inviting club. I'm not going anywhere! I will still be posting photos every day* in hopes of inspiring and motivating others, as well as sharing my journey. It holds me accountable and reminds me that I'm not doing this alone.
*My photos will be clearly marked when they're Whole30 compliant and/or Paleo.